US Chart Roundup: J.Lo's 'Hits' Is A Flop

With eight weeks spent at #1 on the Hot 100, Carly Rae Jepsen's "Call Me Maybe" has tied the eight-week stretch of Gotye's "Somebody That I Used To Know." Both back-to-back chart-toppers have had the longest run so far this year in the Hot 100's peak position. And both songs make me want to tie a garden hose around my neck and hang myself from the nearest tree branch at this point, thanks to overkill.

The next crop of hits waiting in the wings appear to be the following: fun.'s "We Are Young" follow-up "Some Nights" (#11 this week); Cher Lloyd's US breakthrough hit "Want U Back" (#12); Owl City and Carly Rae Jepsen's pair-up "Good Time" (#13).

Hovering just below those three are Calvin Harris and Ne-Yo's "Let's Go" at #17 and Demi Lovato's "Give Your Heart A Break" at #18. I can't see them cracking the Top 10, but who knows?

Over on the album chart, Jennifer Lopez's Dance Again... The Hits flops in at #20. That uppity hooker had better not quit her day job. Oh, oops!

The U.S. Top 10:

1. "Call Me Maybe" - Carly Rae Jepsen *8 weeks*
2. "Wide Awake" - Katy Perry
3. "Payphone" - Maroon 5 feat. Wiz Khalifa
4. "Whistle" - Flo Rida
5. "Lights" - Ellie Goulding
6. "Somebody That I Used To Know" - Gotye feat. Kimbra
7. "Where Have You Been" - Rihanna
8. "Titanium" - David Guetta feat. Sia
9. "Scream" - Usher
10. "Blow Me (One Last Kiss)" - Pink

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US Chart Roundup: Carly Rae Is Still #1, Grouplove Rise & Matchbox Twenty Return

With Carly Rae Jepsen's "Call Me Maybe" in its second week at #1 on the Hot 100, Billboard points out that this marks the first time three consecutive artists — in this case Jepsen, Gotye and fun. — have seen their debut US singles hit the top of the chart since 1977. Unfortunately, this means that every time you flip on the radio, one of those damn songs is on. I just might officially be completely over all three.

A quick check-in on the latest British invastion: Ellie Goulding's "Lights" inches up to #12 this week, while One Direction's second single "One Thing," another one getting constant radio play these days, is up to #47. Meanwhile, Cher Lloyd debuts at #75 with the Shellback-produced "Want U Back," and The Wanted jump 10 positions to #81 with "Chasing The Sun."



Other trash: David Guetta and Sia's "Titanium," which might just be my favorite single of the year so far, is up to #15, and that iPod commercial song "Tongue Tied" by Grouplove is all over the place on radio, a fact that has the single moving up to #60.

On a final note, Matchbox Twenty return with their first Hot 100 entry in five years, "She's So Mean," which debuts at #91. Their last hit came in the form of 2007's "How Far We've Come." It peaked at #11.



The U.S. Top 10:

1. "Call Me Maybe" - Carly Rae Jepsen *2 weeks*
2. "Somebody That I Used To Know" - Gotye feat. Kimbra
3. "Payphone" - Maroon 5 feat. Wiz Khalifa
4. "Wide Awake" - Katy Perry
5. "We Are Young" - fun. feat. Janelle Monae
6. "What Makes You Beautiful" - One Direction
7. "Starships" - Nicki Minaj
8. "Where Have You Been" - Rihanna
9. "Wild Ones" - Flo Rida feat. Sia
10. "Boyfriend" - Justin Bieber

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US Chart Roundup: Rihanna Has Really Big Hits

It's an eighth week for Gotye atop the Hot 100 with "Somebody That I Used To Know," which basically means that even if he never has another hit after this, he'll probably never have to flip burgers for a living.

Recent American Idol winner Phillip Phillips debuted at #10 last week with his coronation song "Home," but now sees the upbeat guitar tune drop all the way down to #41. This makes way for Rihanna's "Where Have You Been" to slip up to #9, thus marking her 22nd Top 10 hit in the US, all within a seven-year span. Billboard points out that, among female solo artists, only Madonna (with 38), Mariah Carey (27), Janet Jackson (27) and Whitney Houston (23) have more.

And the only other news is that I'm taking off for France in a few hours! I'm bringing my laptop, and will be blogging over the next week-and-a-half from Paris. Be on the lookout for some classy pictures of me with a baguette. 

The U.S. Top 10:

1. "Somebody That I Used To Know" - Gotye feat. Kimbra *8 weeks*
2. "Call Me Maybe" - Carly Rae Jepsen
3. "Payphone" - Maroon 5 feat. Wiz Khalifa
4. "We Are Young" - fun. feat. Janelle Monae
5. "Starships" - Nicki Minaj
6. "What Makes You Beautiful" - One Direction
7. "Wild Ones" - Flo Rida feat. Sia
8. "Boyfriend" - Justin Bieber
9. "Where Have You Been" - Rihanna
10. "Glad you Came" - The Wanted

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US Chart Roundup: Phillip Phillips Has A Classy Week

Just when you thought the Top 10 of the Billboard Hot 100 couldn't get any more stagnant, positions 1 through 9 remain the same this week as they were last. This means Gotye and Kimbra's "Somebody That I Used To Know" is #1 for a seventh week, thus making it the longest-running chart-topper of the year to date. (Kimbra's debut LP Vows debuts at #14 this week on the Top 200.)

The song that dropped out of the Top 10 is Train's "Drive By", which gets bumped from #10 to #12 by the debut of American Idol winner Phillip Phillips and his coronation song "Home." This marks the first time an Idol champ has landed a winner's song in the Top 10 since David Cook hit #3 with "The Time Of My Life" in 2008. Absolutely thrilling stuff.

Elsewhere, Ellie Goulding cracks the Top 20 and moves up to #17 with "Lights," while David Guetta and Sia's "Titanium" climbs to #25.

And that, folks, is that.

The U.S. Top 10:

1. "Somebody That I Used To Know" - Gotye feat. Kimbra *7 weeks*
2. "Call Me Maybe" - Carly Rae Jepsen
3. "Payphone" - Maroon 5 feat. Wiz Khalifa
4. "We Are Young" - fun. feat. Janelle Monae
5. "Starships" - Nicki Minaj
6. "Wild Ones" - Flo Rida feat. Sia
7. "What Makes You Beautiful" - One Direction
8. "Glad you Came" - The Wanted
9. "Boyfriend" - Justin Bieber
10. "Home" - Phillip Phillips *new*

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US Chart Roundup: Carly Rae Jepsen Is Going To Do You In, Justin Bieber

With Gotye and Kimbra's "Somebody That I Used To Know" now tying fun. and Janelle Monae's run at #1 with "We Are Young" — six weeks, the longest of any single in 2012 so far — the rest of the Top 10 is pretty much locked in place.

I say pretty much because one of the only movers is Carly Rae Jepsen, and she has now crept up to #2 with "Call Me Maybe". The song is quite literally a phenomenon (I won't take all the credit), and its track to the top of the Hot 100 is no doubt irreversible at this point. ("Call Me Maybe" is currently just under American Idol winner Phillip Phillips' "Home" on the iTunes download chart.) We'll just act like that woeful Billboard Music Awards performance never happened.

So woe is Justin Bieber, who "signed" Carly Rae for US distribution. (Whatever that means — I'm so sure Bieber sat there in his office, smoking a cigar in his three-piece suit after having drawn up papers and lorded over Jepsen while she scrawled on the dotted line with a trembling wrist.) Yes, America's sweetheart (Justin, not Carly Rae) has yet to chart a single higher than #2, and even that one, "Boyfriend", only stayed there for one week.

Jepsen is now on board to open for Bieber on his upcoming North American tour, but I can see what's happening here. This is going to be one of those cases where the fresh-faced opening act quickly eclipses the big enchilada. A star is born. Bieber's voice has changed. He's old hat. They only want you when you're 17. Carly Rae will thank you, Justin, with a hug then a shove down the stairs. You are a whore, darlin'.

And with that, Carly Rae will walk away from the wrapped tour, not even looking over her shoulder, absently telling Justin to call her maybe. Then she'll have her assistant's assistant change her digits. Meanwhile, her lawyers will have just completed the work on extracting her from her contract with Bieb and his manager.

Or, then again, maybe she'll just be a one-hit wonder who's stripping in Reno within two years.

Don't stop Beliebin'.

The U.S. Top 10:

1. "Somebody That I Used To Know" - Gotye feat. Kimbra *6 weeks*
2. "Call Me Maybe" - Carly Rae Jepsen
3. "Payphone" - Maroon 5 feat. Wiz Khalifa
4. "We Are Young" - fun. feat. Janelle Monae
5. "Starships" - Nicki Minaj
6. "Wild Ones" - Flo Rida feat. Sia
7. "What Makes You Beautiful" - One Direction
8. "Glad you Came" - The Wanted
9. "Boyfriend" - Justin Bieber
10. "Drive By" - Train

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US Chart Roundup: Gotye Still Rules, Train Climbs And The Wanted Sink

Gotye and Kimbra rack up a fifth straight week atop the Billboard Hot 100 with "Somebody That I Used To Know", which puts the song just behind "We Are Young" by fun. and Janelle Monae as far as the most weeks spent at #1 this year (six). And unfortunately for both of these tunes, they've now reached the point where I want to take a baseball bat and smash the radio every time each of them come on (which, really, is like every two minutes).

Meanwhile, Kelly Clarkson's "Stronger" — another one I never want to hear again in my life — finally drops out of the Top 10, making way for Train's "Drive By" to zip up to the #10 position.

Elsewhere, Calvin Harris' "Feel So Close" is stuck at #12 yet again, Adele's "Rumour Has It" is still at #16, Rihanna's "Where Have You Been" jumps 11 rungs to #18, Karmin's "Brokenhearted" cracks the Top 20 (at #20) and Ellie Goulding's "Lights" moves up to #26. A bit further down, David Guetta and Sia's "Titanium", a previous #1 single in the UK, is up to #46.

Over on the Top 200 album chart, where Carrie Underwood's Blown Away is #1 for a second week, Keane's Strangeland debuts at #17, while Nicki Minaj's Roman Reloaded drops out of the Top 20 (at #21) in its sixth week, The Wanted flop all the way down to #61 in their third week on the chart with their self-titled EP and Madonna's MDNA sinks to #71 in its seventh week.

At this point people aren't even going to realize which album Madge is touring for by the time her tour hits America.

The U.S. Top 10:

1. "Somebody That I Used To Know" - Gotye feat. Kimbra *5 weeks*
2. "Payphone" - Maroon 5 feat. Wiz Khalifa
3. "We Are Young" - fun. feat. Janelle Monae
4. "Call Me Maybe" - Carly Rae Jepsen
5. "Wild Ones" - Flo Rida feat. Sia
6. "Starships" - Nicki Minaj
7. "What Makes You Beautiful" - One Direction
8. "Glad you Came" - The Wanted
9. "Boyfriend" - Justin Bieber
10. "Drive By" - Train

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US Chart Roundup: Gotye Goes From Down Under To On Top

It's a pretty flat week on the Hot 100, save for the fact that Gotye and Kimrba's "Somebody That I Used To Know" has become the seventh single of the year to top the chart. Strangely, we're well into April, but only one of those seven singles — Katy Perry's "Part Of Me" — wasn't released last year.

"Somebody That I Used To Know" got an added boost last week after being covered by Darren Criss and Matthew Bomer on Glee and performed by Gotye and Kimbra on Saturday Night Live.

At any rate, Gotye, who was born in Belgium but relocated to Australia when he was 2 years old, is now the first artist from Down Under to reach #1 since Savage Garden's "I Knew I Loved You" climbed to the top in 2000.

He's also only the second Belgian artist (technically) to do so, and the first since this poor broad, The Singing Nun (aka Jeanine Deckers), in 1963:



The Singing Nun, who was also known as Sœur Sourire, or Sister Smile, committed suicide in 1985 with her lesbian partner after she was unable to cough up unpaid taxes owed to the Belgian government. So invest your cash wisely, Gotye.

Over on the Top 200 album chart, Madonna's MDNA has flopped out of the Top 10 after only two weeks, as it falls from #8 to #18.

The U.S. Top 10:

1. "Somebody That I Used To Know" - Gotye feat. Kimbra *1 week*
2. "We Are Young" - fun. feat. Janelle Monae
3. "Glad you Came" - The Wanted
4. "What Makes You Beautiful" - One Direction
5. "Boyfriend" - Justin Bieber
6. "Wild Ones" - Flo Rida feat. Sia
7. "Starships" - Nicki Minaj
8. "Call Me Maybe" - Carly Rae Jepsen
9. "Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You)" - Kelly Clarkson
10. "Part Of Me" - Katy Perry

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UK Chart Roundup: Alexandra Burke's Auto-Tuned Thong Is A Drag

The UK chart continues its trend of being an utter snooze for another week as "Somebody That I Used To Know" by Gotye and Kimbra racks up a fifth stint at #1. That's not to say that the song itself is a bore — quite the contrary, I love that offbeat breakup jam! It's just that all the subsequent positions need a jolt of something new.

And sorry, Alexandra Burke's semi-shit "Elephant," which lumbers in at #3, ain't that jolt. Broad, there's an elephant standing in the room, and it's the fact that this trash sounds like a Rihanna knockoff.



Blah.

The UK Top 10:

1. "Somebody That I Used To Know" - Gotye feat. Kimbra *5 weeks*
2. "Starships" - Nicki Minaj
3. "Elephant" - Alexandra Burke *new*
4. "Next To Me" - Emeli Sande
5. "Wild Ones" - Flo Rida feat. Sia
6. "Titanium" - David Guetta feat. Sia
7. "Hot Right Now" - DJ Fresh feat. Rita Ora
8. "Turn Me On" - David Guetta feat. Nicki Minaj
9. "Love Me" - Stooshe feat. Travie McCoy
10. "Turn Me On" - David Guetta feat. Nicki Minaj

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UK Chart Post: Adele Is A Dominatrix

It's a UK chart snooze this week as Gotye and Kimbra's "Somebody That I Used To Know" returns to #1 after a brief interruption by DJ Fresh and Rita Ora's "Hot Right Now".

Meanwhile, like in the US, Adele's 21 is currently the #1 album for a 21st non-consecutive week. The LP got a boost thanks to the singer's win at this past week's Brit Awards.

That's great. It really is. Now, how about a goddamn break from Adele, world? Sound sexy?

The UK Top 10:

1. "Somebody That I Used To Know" - Gotye feat. Kimbra *2 weeks*
2. "Next To Me" - Emeli Sande
3. "Hot Right Now" - DJ Fresh feat. Rita Ora
4. "Wild Ones" - Flo Rida feat. Sia
5. "Titanium" - David Guetta feat. Sia
6. "Domino" - Jessie J
7. "Starships" - Nicki Minaj
8. "Turn Me On" - David Guetta feat. Nicki Minaj
9. "Ass Back Home" - Gym Class Heroes feat. Neon Hitch *new*
10. "T.H.E." - Will.i.am ft. Jennifer Lopez/Mick Jagger

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