UK Chart Roundup: All The Single Covers For PSY's "Gangnam Style" Are Fucking Creepy

PSY's "Gangnam Style" — aka this generation's "Macarena" — has inevitably topped the UK chart (it's currently #2 in the US), after already hitting #1 in countries like Australia, Canada, Finland, Norway and South Korea (duh!).

I just love how it's like the old days, when a single like this would have 4,028 different versions of the cover art.

And with every single one, PSY looks completely ridiculous and actually kind of menacing. Like, "I'm going to hop on my imaginary horse and bounce my tubby ass over to your house and give your children The Inappropriate Tickle" creepy.

This one is my favorite. It's Mermaid PSY, and, yeah — you can expect him to blow bubbles down your shorts in your nightmares while shoving the handle of the toilet scrubber up your can, starlet.

Heeeeeeeeeeeey, sexy lady!

The UK Top 10:

1. "Gangnam Style" - PSY *1 week*
2. "Hall Of Fame" - The Script feat. will.i.am 
3. "I Cry" - Flo Rida
4. "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together" - Taylor Swift
5. "Let Me Love You" - Ne-Yo
6. "Say Nothing" - Example
7. "Some Nights" - fun.
8. "She Wolf (Falling To Pieces)" - David Guetta feat. Sia
9. "Turn Around" - Conor Maynard feat. Ne-Yo
10. "You Bring Me Joy" - Amelia Lily

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Christina Aguilera's "Your Body" Video: Her Most Artistic Triumph To Date

Two years ago I had to spank Christina Aguilera when she released Bionic by giving her some sage career advice, and I'm glad she took it to heart and got back to basics — i.e. being a trailer park skank who looks like Barney (yes, that Barney) blew his load all through her rat wig while she was affixing her press-on nails with Elmer's Glue in the dumpster behind her trailer park.

"Your Body" is her classiest video to date, with some truly artistic shots that underscore just what a glamourous icon Aguilera has become over the years.

What Christina does here is not just ascend to the ranks of visionaries who came before her like Michael Jackson, Salvador Dali, I. M. Pei and Hoku — rather, she truly creates images that capture our minds in the culture we live in now, and will inspire generations that traverse this world long after we're gone.

Flawlesstina, take it away!

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US Chart Roundup: Christina Aguilera Returns From The Pop Hooker Graveyard

K-Pop fans hoping PSY's crossover smash "Gangnam Style" would fly to #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 this week will be disappointed to see the song land in the runner-up position. I'm just annoyed that Maroon 5 are still at the top with their tuneless attempt at reggae, "One More Night."

A far better Max Martin/Shellback co-production is Christina Aguilera's "Your Body," which crashes into the chart at #34. This marks the curvy Voice ho's first Top 40 solo hit since "Not Myself Tonight" kicked off the disastrous Bionic campaign two years ago and peaked at #23. Of course, last year she made her way to #1 by chirping for about 14 seconds on Maroon 5's "Moves Like Jagger."

Next up we have Pink, whose second The Truth About Love single "Try" debuts at #56 while her current hit "Blow Me (One Last Kiss)" is still soaring at #5. And speaking of the pink-wigged faux lezzer's latest album, it becomes her first to hit #1 on the Top 200 after moving 280,000 copies last week — the third-largest opening for an album in 2012 so far. 

God bless vagina.

The U.S. Top 10:

1. "One More Night" - Maroon 5 *2 weeks*
2. "Gangnam Style" - PSY
3. "Some Nights" - fun.
4. "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together" - Taylor Swift
5. "Blow Me (One Last Kiss)" - Pink
6. "Whistle" - Flo Rida
7. "As Long As You Love Me" - Justin Bieber
8. "Good Time" - Owl City & Carly Rae Jepsen
9. "Too Close" - Alex Clare
10. "Lights" - Ellie Goulding

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Steps To Release 'Light Up The World' Holiday Album In November

Christ, just what I need — for my dormant Steps obsession to be resuscitated once again, a la when that trash reality show first aired last fall. Turns out the UK pop act will release a Christmas album called Light Up The World on November 12, preceded by a same-titled single . The band will also play six live dates throughout the UK in late November and early December.

For those keeping track (i.e. me and two or three thirtysomething broads in the English countryside), this will mark Steps' first new material since 2000's Buzz.

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Pet Shop Boys' "Leaving" Release To Come Packed With Several Goodies

Pet Shop Boys' second Elysium single "Leaving" gets its official UK release on October 15, and will arrive in several formats: three digital bundles, two CD singles and 12" vinyl.

What's interesting is that, in additional to the usual round of remixes, we'll get two new B-sides — "Hell" and "In His Imagination" — as well as the original demos for "Leaving" and the song "Baby," which was written for and recorded by Alcazar back in 2009.

Ah, "Baby" — such a hot tune. But, Jesus, where the fuck did the last three years go?

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It's Rihanna's New Single "Diamonds"

Thank god Rihanna has chucked the generic dance thump of many of her previous singles (though I still dig "We Found Love") and switched up the sound for her lead offering from her 723rd album, which is due out this November.

Sia wrote "Diamonds" (it was produced by Stargate and Benny Blanco), and the lyrics therefore display a bit more maturity — and far less of a sexual overtone — than RiRi's more recent offerings. The mid-tempo beat reminds me of slower '70s disco like "Love To Love You Baby" for some reason.



Anyway, really loving this track. Nice switch-up for Rihanna. Don't fuck it up with the album like you did with that grating pile of cack Talk That Talk, though, hooker.

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It's Ke$ha's "Die Young" Single: Listen

Soul icon Ke$ha's new single "Die Young" surfaced online this evening, and I have to say that, musically, it's a totally catchy synth-pop jam — albeit one that sounds not unlike Flo Rida's "Good Feeling"/Avicii's "Levels".

But as for the vocals, K-hole comes off sounding like she hasn't progressed an inch since the release of her debut smash "Tik Tok" three years ago. The verses are delivered with her signature talk-rap-singing, and unfortunately, she ain't really saying all that much new.

Ultimately, what saves "Die Young" are those synths. But other than that, it doesn't have me looking forward to Ke$ha's upcoming LP Warrior all that much. You?

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